brainbox : niet in Rome

NOT TO ROME
A Comedy in Eight Scenes and One Conclusion

Main characters
(a) Some or other artist
(b) A Peter Morrens lookalike
(c) The other

SCENE ONE

(a) and (b) enter the room where (c) has been sitting for quite a while.

The other Nee... (zeer verbaasd) Hoe...! Wat? Jullie zitten niet in Rome?
A Peter Morrens lookalike (zeer verbaasd) Rome?
Some or other artist (zeer verbaasd) Eh...
The other Op een terrasje. In de zon. Duizendtweehonderd euro. Rome, terrasje, zon.
The Peter Morrens lookalike Joris. Alleen Joris. Er was geen geld voor drie tickets.
The other (zeer verbaasd) Kom zeg. Duizentweehonderd euro. Geen geld voor drie tickets.

SCENE TWO

It is Two o'Clock. The other is dressed as a girl. Backstage four more girls hang to the wall. Should it rain? The Peter Morrens lookalike sits at the entrance of the corridor. He is on his knees, on both hands and knees, and so pleasantly offers the image of a harmless but well-dressed animal. He peers through the corridor. Some or other artist, holding a rectangular piece of wood, or is it a mirror? stands at the back end of the open space.

It is a mirror.

SCENE THREE

A piece of furniture stands next to the mirror. It is made by Antoine Van Impe. This should not be mentioned.

The Peter Morrens lookalike with mirror. He stands at the back end of the open space. Some or other artist lingers in the corridor and looks at the Peter Morrens lookalike. The some or other artist looks at the thing unseen for anyone else. Not a word is said on the thing they do. The other stands next to a garbarge can, writing.

SCENE FOUR

As before. (a) and (b) intend to take off.
The lookalike Kan ik m'n laptop hier... Is het veilig?
The other Ja, natuurlijk, absoluut. Ik heb scans te doen, ik blijf tot een uur of zeven.

(a) and (b) take off to a shop. It is three o'clock. (c) gets herself a cup of coffee. Ahmad Jamal tunes from the laptop.

SCENE FIVE

As before. Some or other artist and the Peter Morrens lookalike enter the room where the other has been sitting for quite a while. Ze hebben een spiegel gekocht.

The other Hoeveel heeft ie gekost?
Some or other artist 25 euro.

(a) en (b) stappen naar de open ruimte van de zaal achterin. Ze bespreken dingen, plooien dubbel van het lachen. The other staart naar de schoenveters van (b). Die van de linkerschoen kwamen los te zitten.

SCENE SIX 16:05

Some or other artist runs through the corridor. The noise of a stove. At the back end plain darkness. Ahmad Jamal tunes from a laptop.

SCENE SEVEN

The Peter Morrens lookalike and some or other artist take quarters of both mirror and corridor. They run through the corridor. Each time some or other artist runs the Peter Morrens lookalike is looking party. They observe each other.

The lookalike Niet zo schuin... Niet zo schuin... Rechter. Niet zo schuin. Nee, ge hebt 'm niet. Niet zo schuin.

Some or other artist busies himself with the mirror.

The lookalike Het spel... niet weten, wel weten. Een detail.

SCENE EIGHT

De spiegel leunt tegen een viseuse. Aan een draadje dat er tijdens een van vorige units was komen te hangen, hangt een lamp. Iemand stelt een vraag over het dak.

CONCLUSION

Don't you want some cornflakes or a dead pinguin for breakfast?