Daisy and Herb

I would like to tell you something about Daisy and Herb. You know Herb? I didn't. Herb used to sit at Finkel's. We called it Finkel's. That is I called it Finkel's. Finkel, which wasn't his real name, ran a vinyl store near San Diego airport. It maybe was not that near San Diego airport, I wouldn't know, I've never been to San Diego, and it maybe wasn't San Diego and it wasn't a vinyl store maybe, but whatever it was, Herb used to sit there, at Finkel's, that's what I think it was, and it is told he sat there each day, each day again indeed, and that his usual hour was six o'clock at night. That's what Sulliman Cooper told me. I knew Finkel from the papers. They had written on Finkel. That is I called him Finkel. The way I knew him, having phantasies on his solemn occupation, Finkel selling vinyl releases no one really cared for, Finkel having no less than three bathtubes in the back of his house, in one of the bathtubes he kept a small baby crocodile from the species known as Alligator mississippiensis, Finkel himself, always being Finkel and no one else, Herr Finkel, to admit the idea that he must have had German roots, drinking coffee in a far too noisy way, as if he had to step through the coffee. Herb sat at the window. Finkel's had four windows and in front of each of that stood three sanseveria. It could not be ignored that they had a brown color. Herb always sat in front of the window next to the entrance and he never drank anything else but bourbon and mint tea, reading both newspapers Finkel's offered and reading each syllable of it. If Herb had the newspaper it easily took a couple of hours. He didn't run through the news, as I did, he took it syllable after syllable and ate it, chewed on each phrase and seemingly kept chewing until nothing was left of it. Now I remember that Herb, or Bernie, as some of the customers said, But lets talk about Daisy. What's your name, honey? Daisy, she said. Daisy had been born fat and grewing up she in a most easy way became fatter, fatter and fatter. She became so fat that one day Herb took notice of her. They married on July 6th in 1977. I now first will take a shit, Herb said to the newly arrived phenomenon. On behalf of that phrase Daisy added nothing that could have been meant to be an answer. I first take a shit now, Herb said. Daisy didn't react on that. Herb's eyes captered her stare. There she shat. Honey, he said.