vrijdag 12 juli 2013
I can read, yes. And I can read newspapers, yes. I do not find it difficult to read newspapers, no, it's not that difficult. I find it depressing. Yes. Yes, I think newspapers are depressing, and now that I found out how really depressing it is I think it eventually was not a very good idea my parents had when they first send me to school, I should have said I guess that I didn't feel the need to learn the things I had to learn, especially reading, because I am able to read now, pa, and what I read is depressing. Yes. And it even is not the worst thing, when I read a newspaper, what I read. Not at all. More depressing than all this daily fermented, all this desorientating, all this mentally deficient information, all this seductive but unbalanced scribbling, all this exalted daily commandments, 'this' what one easily just as well could call 'that', far more depressing than all that is those irrelevant, those unelephantlike, those fanatically triumphant and imbecile faces I see, yes. Oh. Oh. How poor would I have felt if I had been able to do such a thing. It gradually makes me unable to read, yes. I am uncapable, yes, uncapable, I am uncapable to look at those faces, I feel unable to be urged to read and to look, at the very same moment, at, yes, that I urgently need, if I may so, to swallow those greedy faces, yes. I am not interested, not at all, not for that tiniest little fragment of a second, in the story of a princess that wants to be an artist, yes, or wants to be a princess maybe, yes. Nonetheless each day again, now that I am able to read, I have to read that story. Wouldn't it be far better not to be able to read, I ask myself. Or this one: in one or other capital they plan to raise taxes on cars, a private company will take care of that. So I read this, as I unfortunately am able to read, and meanwhile I need to look at that face of a gent who thinks it necessary to be responsible for all that. On what would I reflect if I hadn't been able to read? What would it be if I only saw non-dimensional forms instead of faces. I am blinded by the news I read, yes. I feel unable to read it and the faces I need to look at make it worse.